A Cobbler's Nightmare

I have bad feet. This is not a description of smell or condition, but rather what I do to shoes. I wreck them. I'll bet I destroy shoes in ways that you can't even imagine. Shoes are not the cheapest investment and one expects them to last for at least a little while. Not me. I can kill a pair in six months and as I've mentioned in some really awful ways. Part of the problem is that I have an exceptionally wide right foot. I need to have shoes that are wide to accommodate this. With most athletic shoes I have to buy a whole size up just to have enough room for my enlarged appendage. The good thing is that these days most major athletic shoe companies have caught on that not all people have nice narrow feet and those that don't won't buy there shoes. So the selections for persons with a deformity such as me have more choices.

I usually buy cross-training or running shoes. It seems that as I have gotten older that foot comfort is something that I need to have and will pay for. Back in the day, I've had shoes that were trendy and very cool to look upon, but absolutely killed me to wear. Funny thing about buying cross-trainers or running shoes is that don't do either with any regularity. Maybe I buy them thinking that maybe I'll find the need to and one day and BANG! I'll be ready. It's mostly for the comfort of them. They are truly the most comfortable shoes to wear. I've had my fill of high-tops and Chuck-Taylors - although I have a pair of Chucks that I bought recently but cannot wear with any regularity. Chucks were just not made for people who want to be comfortable. I lived in a pair of blue Chucks all through high school. But as age catches up with me, I need to have more support from a shoe - and well just about everything else I wear. But that's another post...

I first noticed my problem with wrecking shoes while working at EDS a few years back. My Clarks (the most comfortable loafer EVER) were feeling a bit funny and I notices that one foot was unusually wet after walking in the rain. Turns out that the sole of my right shoe had a horizontal crack in it running all the way up to the bottom of my foot. I showed my wife and she said that she had never seen anything like it. The exact same thing happened to the Clarks I bought to replace the damaged ones six months later. I was able to dash the thought of having bought defective shoes and coming to the conclusion that I have defective feet.

Athletic shoes fare no better with the monster feet. My last two pairs of cross-trainers are trashed. It all began with a simple little 'click' as I took a step. This click would get louder and louder until people would actually recognized my attendance by the noise from my shoes. The first of these shoes had a crack right down the middle of the hard plastic sole support on the bottom of the shoe. This is what made the audible clicking sound. After finding this problem I retired them and they now have the honor of being dedicated painting and lawn mowing footwear. The shoes the replaced these were great, very comfortable and nice looking to boot. But after a few months I noticeed the tell-tale click again and kept a close eye out for any cracks, ruptures, or otherwise. The click was getting louder and I didn't notice anything at first. But one fateful night I was taking off my shoes when I noticed that the entire rubber sole of the shoe was coming unglued from the leather portion above it. The shoe was just coming apart on my foot. How the hell does this keep happening? Did I mention that I don't really DO anything in these shoes except walk??

As I was contemplating getting a plastic surgeon to look at my feet, I remembered something from my childhood. Something small, perhaps insignificant if I had not been having so much trouble with shoes. SHOE-GOO. My father always has SHOE-GOO around. SHOE-GOO is a product that looks like glue but when applied to shoes it can repair cracks in the soles and other problems with shoe's various rubber parts. This stuff was everywhere around the house. My father was a runner at the time and I suppose he needed the stuff to repair all his shoes. So there it is, the ugly beast of heredity rears it's ugly head - or perhaps foot - and now I know that it's a family curse to commit assault and battery on footwear.

I've purchased a new pair of Brooks running shoes. They are designed for people who run on wooded trails. Again, like I would EVER do that. One thing’s for sure, they are doomed. I have not worn them much. I have them on a shelf and I look at them a lot - not sure if I dare to actually wear them. That would mean enjoying them only until the click - my own tell-tale heart if you will - comes and signals that I need to go shoe shopping again. Oh well, there are worse things that needlessly destroying shoes. I mean for God's sake there are people without feet. I wonder if you can make a whole foot out of SHOE-GOO? Maybe I should buy stock in the stuff.

As funny as it may sound to you and me, I'll be on vacation beginning next week. I'll make sure to find an interesting thing or two to post about while there for sure. I'll be checking Email so post away at your leisure. - Will