Pay No Attention To The Secret Door
When discussing a new house with my wife I have but one small request. I need to have a large system of caves underneath the house. That's right. Will needs himself a cave. Listed below are some of the requirements for my cave.
- I need to be able to drive into it - Preferably from a secret entrance of some sort hidden by a waterfall, holographic imagery, or the ever-popular shrubbery. I would need to have a remote control for it, AND a sensor in my car to make the obstruction clear automatically.
- One thing that I've never seen them address in the Batman comics, TV, or movies. Where exactly do the bats shit? I mean does the BatCave have bats that don't shit? I will need a place where the bats can have their space and I can have mine. Any crossing of the two means I get pooped on. This really does ruin the allure of having your own cave.
- A Super-computer - I will need to be cross-checking records with the likes of the FBI, Interpol, Scotland Yard, MI6, and any other organization that I need information from. I will also need to have an independent satellite that will be at my disposal whenever I need it. You know, for seeing when the wife's home with groceries, looking down ladies dresses, and of course playing Tetris online.
- Exercise Equipment - I will need to have a full range of exercise equipment that would give one the impression that I work out. I'll have towels and chalk lying around to increase this perception.
- Gallery - I will need to have a place to store all the trophies that I have received from my various adventures. Like my 1985 Little League trophy and my freshman basketball certificate from 1986. I plan on getting bigger trophies someday and I'll need a place to put them.
- Cool entrance to the Cave - I will need a really cool way to get into the cave from the house. A gimmick, a type of switch that is of course secret and doesn't happen with much frequency. Like turning on the television to Lifetime, taking something healthy to eat from the fridge, maybe the secret opening will happen when I actually wash my car.
- Stash of secret 'Will" stuff - the Will boat, the Will Plane, the Willmobile, multiple will outfits for the change in the seasons, sidekick stuff (yeah, as if I'm going to need a sidekick), and finally a plethora of Will-A-Rangs. Some will blow up, some with emit various gases, but some will just get me a soda from the Will fridge.
- Laboratory - Not really sure what I do with one. I'm sure something would blow up and would run into the house shouting, "My Eyes! My Eyes!". Again this can be for purely looks, remember this is about making an impression, not anywhere near reality.
- Butler - No shit. I need one of these in real life. You got one I can use?
So maybe someday I'll get my cave. I'd actually settle on a den with TV, DVD's and games - but since I'm wishing - why not wish big? Just remember, once you throw a Will-A-Rang into the depths of the Will Cave, don't bother getting it - cause man, it's gone.
posted by Will at 4/06/2006 02:07:00 PM
5 Comments:
Are you proposing a story that needs developing? Do we get gadgets and a cave? Gosh I hope so, fighting such a threat wouldn't seem worth it otherwise.
Lots of these stories out there. We'd need a hook. Something different. Do we have the chops to come up with a story that hasn't been told yet?
Brother, I believe that we do. Beats working that's for sure.
We need an outline. Something to flesh out. The particulars can be worked out whenever.
Or, even simpler - draw a picture and develop a premise from the imagery. I know you've seen a picture when you would kill to know the story behind it. That kind of need-to-know causes one to want to let's say - buy a book.
The Kong book was great. I've give my left nut to write that shit. To be in meetings where creativity can really help what your trying to accomplish. Instead of being the guy that everyone stares at for coming up with something different.
Let's run with it. What have we got to loose?
You know, I could see the two of you putting together an awesome series of adventure stories/books.
Hell, I'd buy them!
As for the cave... I NEED ONE!!! What would it be like to have your own space that's only yours... I can't fathom that... Way too out there to be realistic.
The pic you used for the cave made me wonder about the topic. It took me a while to fiugre out that it was a cave... At first glance it looks like a b/w camera shot from a Colonoscopy. I have yet to have one, but imagine it looking something like that...
Cheers!
Yow... More information than my over-active imagination needed. (shudder)...
On the colaborative writing effort, I think you guys should consider it. From the marketing standpoint, brother authors sounds kind of cool. Even better when you are twins. Regis and Kelly eat that kind of thing up... And Kelly would be all over the two of you...
Ok, instead of a cave, what about getting an old missile silo? I'll take this one... it has it's own runway too... :)
http://www.missilebases.com/new/index.html
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