Where A Parent Can Be A Kid

So yesterday, one of my son's friends from school had a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese's. Now for those of you who have not experienced CC's, it's a place were kids run rampant and parents just sit and are grateful that they don't have to chase anyone for awhile. Video Games, really bad - but strangely addictive pizza, machines that dispense and count tickets for the purchase of cheap toys, yeah it's a whirlwind of excitement. CC's is one of the only places where everything is is predictable. You know what you're going to get every time you go there. Not many places I can go in my life, especially with my children,that can get a predictable result.

Now there are some things about CC's that I don't like at all. First off, I don’t care for Chuckie's animatronic band. There are giant stuffed animals with moving eyes and arms who sing to pre-recorded music. My youngest saw them and recoiled from them like they were about to eat him. Rightly so, these things are creepy, and when they break down even more so. For instance, Chuckie was able to turn from side to side and blink. But his mouth was broken (probably from eating too many children) and did not move. Basically he just stood there blinking and shaking from side to side. I mentioned to my wife that he looked like he was having an epileptic seizure. The second thing I don't like is the employee who's dressed up like Chuckie who walks around. Since he doesn't make any noise while doing this, he sneaks up on you and that is not fun. Again, my youngest did not like him at all. Once while at CC's I was playing a game with my oldest and the person dressed up like Chuckie approached me from behind and started stroking my shoulder. This did not please me at all. If this was a prank to freak out a unsuspecting parent it was brilliantly executed. I still wake up at night thinking about being fondled by Chuckie.

While there, Cam and I were playing a game based on Star Wars. He was playing and I was watching him and giving encouragement. When his game was complete, he asked me if I wanted to play. I said sure. So I began playing the game and was able to complete all three levels of the game. Suddenly I looked behind me and there was about 100 boys standing around me watching me play the game. They were all asking each other if I was their Dad. Cam proudly appeared next to me while playing and announced the throng of boys that I was indeed his Dad. Evidently in the world of five year olds having a Dad who rocks at video games is a big deal. I was glad I was able to provide this source of pride for my son. Soon after, the adulation turned to frustration as the 35 year old was beginning to overstay his welcome on the game. Parents were beginning to give me, "Why don't you let the kids play?" looks. Even though I was doing well, duh - destroyed the previous high score by like a gazillion - I ended my turn and Cam and I went on to play other games. It was a proud moment to be sure. Hey, I am not above getting admiration from a group of five year olds for kicking ass on a video game. All those years of skipping classes and hanging out at the arcade really did pay off.

Chuckie Cheese's has the worst pizza in the history of the world. It tastes like cardboard with greasy, sloppy cheese carelessly thrown on top with an obligatory topping or two. That being said, I cannot stop eating this pizza. When you go to a birthday party at CC's, they have about a dozen pizzas sitting around. Once the kids have their slices and have departed for the games, the parents just sit around staring at uneaten pizza. Emily suggested that I take the pie in front of us and offer it to some of the other parents. The look I gave her was one of unbelievable indignation. For her to suggest that I take a perfectly good pizza, which was obviously left there just for me, and offer it up as a sacrifice to the masses? So what did I do? The only thing I could do in such a delicate situation, I defiantly ate the remainder of the pizza. Survival of the fittest in it's truest from. Get your own damn pizza.

Some of the games at CC's give kids tickets which they can exchange for prizes. Cam, his mother and I collected a modest amount which he exchanged for items which I'm sure to step on in the middle of the night. Some parents and their children turn this joyous exchange of tickets for toys into a cottage industry. Suddenly it's a competitive sport. We all stand at the ticket "eater" and size up the other parents and just how many tickets they were able to collect for their kids. As for me, I don't really participate, although I will say that my son was able to get way cooler prizes that those other losers..um..kids.

So if you have some time to kill and happened to have available children, visit your local Chucky Cheese's. You'll have a great time, but don't even think about beating my high score on the Star Wars game or eating my pizza...