Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None

I know how to do a little bit of everything. I'm not particularly good at any one thing, I look at it as keeping my options open. If I just do one thing well then people will start setting expectations. I really can't be having that. Once an expectation is set, then it's all downhill. Due to the human condition of expecting more out of other people than we do ourselves, people will assume that you are more competent than you are. Especially when you've done something correctly. So, being able to pick and choose these things is really much easier.

Now I'm a professional(stop giggling please). I do the job I've been asked to do by the people that pay me. But being a project manager for a software company was not really what I was dreaming about when I was younger. Truth be told, I'm still not really sure what I want to be doing. I reasonably sure it's not this - nice work, but not exactly using the creative skills that I've honed over years of annoying the shit out of people. Here's what I've found out about my former dreams jobs:

• You can't be an Astronaut and smoke. Not even a little.
• Evidently, they want Marine Biologists to know some math. Yeah, no. Not to mention the base pay begins at nothing, followed up with nothing and a bucket of fish.
• Bounty Hunters are creepy people who catch other creepy people. Yeah, carrying a side-arm might be fun, but dealing with too many people with mullets makes me break out.
• Acting requires one to hang out with other actors and actresses. This is not what you'd call tolerable.
• Medicine - I mentioned the math? There's more of that needed here, plus there's the touching other people because it's your job to do so. Tre-Icky.
• Being a Cowboy requires you to do a lot of work. Sometimes that work requires you to ride a horse and occasionally sleep outside. So there's work, animals that poop bigger that I do, and camping - I'm struggling with an upside here...
• Imperial Stormtrooper - aside from them not being "real", and that evidently their blast-proof armor is susceptible to any hero - with a blaster - that happens to comes along, it's not a realistic choice for me. Although those helmets are, and always have been, very cool.
  
  

So what am I doing? Well it's not a dream job, but it keeps the family fed and the mortgage paid. I'm kind of hoping to write for a living one day. Again, not sure about who or what, but doing this has always been something I enjoy. Who knows, maybe American Idol? I can sing as poorly as any of those pathetic souls. Or I'll just give up all pretenses and finally succumb to gay porn. The world is my oyster!! Figures I'm allergic...