The Last Ride Of The Jet-Car

What's that you say? Will has a Jet-Car? Well I did. I turned in my leased 2003 Volkswagen Jetta. It was a great car. European styling, funky 'up' reverse, and a kickin' stereo made for a fun car to get around in. But as with all things, this too is fleeting. The least was up and I had to give it back to Volkswagen to eventually sell it to someone who hopefully will appreciate it as much as I did. Cam dubbed it the Jet-Car when I got the car, and who am I to argue with such a cool moniker for my ride? Both the boys loved the car, which they rode in quite often with me being um..er Mr. Mom. This goes to show that an appreciation of such a fine vehicle may indeed be something that passes on genetically.

Although the Jetta was a great car, it was not at all my favorite. My all time favorite was my black Toyota pick-up truck. I owned this truck long before I had children and it was perfect for getting back and forth to work. The only draw back was that I was required to move people with it. Once folks find out you have a truck they somehow find something big they need moved. I didn't mind most of the time and I usually got free pizza out of the deal. That truck would have lasted me forever. Instead the future wife and I needed to go down to one car as she was in school at the time. We were left with her Hyundai Accent which was a good car, save that it was pink. That's right- PINK.

Now the user's manual stated that the color of the car was Barcelona Red. I'm here to tell you that it was a pink 2-door sedan. That's fine; a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. We were young, the wife was in college and I was working at a book store. You make do with what you have. Jesus I hated that car. There was not one damn this macho about this ride. I just tried to ride around in it with a look of, "This isn't my car" on my face. Or I would tell people (usually guys) the actual color of the car. As if that made a difference at all. They would say, "Dude, that car is pink." I figured that all of those jibes helped me to grow stronger as a person. They also helped me to make damn sure that I am involved in every future car color conversation my wife and I have. Dude, she bought a pink car. If I don't stay on my toes, she could very well do it again. That would be a serious blow to my already well thought-out mid-life crisis.

These days we have a very nice Toyota mini-van. You know, these cars do have a stigma attached to them. Soccer Moms, grocery getters, what have you. But I'll say this. They are pretty damn handy, especially with 2 kids and an automatic sliding door. I can fit all kinds of things AND the kids in this van. Mostly it’s full of the kid’s stuff and its floor is littered with whatever snack the boys had in the van last. Not that I'm much for cruising nowadays, but if I were, my minivan has enough cup holders for a harem of women. In fact I found a new one the other day and I've had the thing for 2 years. Yep, you got a drink and I have a bevy of places you can put it. Above you, below you, on your right, on your left, wherever you want. That's what I want in a car, effective drink management. If you have kids, consider buying a minivan. Your life has been changed forever with offspring. You mine as well have a car that tells the world this undeniable fact. Now whether you have a soccer decal on yours is up to you. We only have a single bumper sticker on ours - Kerry/Edwards '04. That didn't exactly go our way, but we've decided to express our denial with a lonely sticker on our giant blue kid-mobile.

I would like to tell you that I am one of those people who can take care of a car. You know, wash it regularly, keep it clean and nice looking. I am surely not. My mother and I share the same opinions of cars. We want them to look nice and run well, but after all they are just a tool to get from one place to another. I don't really need to have my car smelling nice. I'm a smoker after all and smoking in the car is just something you do(sans kids of course). Febreezing that away everyday would get annoying plus there is some comfort in having a car with that smoky flavor. No one else wants to drive it that's for sure which is fine by me. I think of it as a kind of car-borrower repellent.

So what's my next car? I'll be driving a 98 Ford Escort. It's not as cool as the Jetta, but it has a CD player and that's really all I need. The front right fender is jet black and that would be kind of cool if the rest of the car wasn't candy-apple red. Oh well, the price is right and I just need to get the kid to school and me to my future job. The car will become my own. Maybe I'll become a bumper sticker person or get it detailed with this web-site's name all over it. Most importantly it will get me around and it's not anywhere close to Barcelona Red.