Will's Index #1

There happens to be this magazine, we'll call it Schlarpers that has an index listing all sorts of information, percentages, and numbers about current events and different subjects. So I thought I'd create a similar one, and being totally self-consumed, all the data will be about me.

Number of roundish objects that Will can juggle: 3

Number of roundish objects that Will's cannot juggle and will eventually hurt himself with: 4

Number of days that Will has gone without bathing as an adult: 5

Number of days that Will was camping and refused to enter the showers: 5

Ratio of the amount of packs of cigarettes that Will's consumes to the days he is conscious: 1:1

Ratio of these days to the amount of ribbing Will gets from his wife on the subject: 1:1

Speed in which Will could throw a baseball while participating in little league in 1984: 90 MPH

Speed in which Will can throw a baseball in 2006: 85 MPH

Days of recovery from thowing this baseball in 2006: 4

Number of movies Will watches in one week: 10+

Average number of good movies Will watches in the same time period: 15%

Average that Will's wife will fall asleep during a movie that Will rents: 90%

Average that Will's wife will fall asleep during a movie that she herself rents: 5%

Ranking of Will as a father as estimated by his children: 1

Ranking of Will as a father as estimated by their mother: tied for 25th

Ranking of Will as a father as estimated by Biff the Wonder Dog: 1+

Volume of baseball hats owned by Will: 23

Volume of baseball hats owned by Will that he actually wears: 5

Volume of basball hats owned by Will that he's not allowed to wear out of the house: 3

Number of women that Will dated prior to dating his wife: 5

Number of women that Will wish he hadn't dated prior to dating his wife: 5

Ranking of Will's wife among mortal women: 1

Ranking of Will's wife among immortal women: 1

Ranking of Will's wife among women from yet-discovered alien worlds: 1

Number of movies that Will indentifies as his favorite: 12

Number of tattoos that Will currently has: 3

Number of tattoos that Will currently wants: 5+

Chance that Will can accurately recite you the Prime Directive from Star Trek: 85%

Chance that Will can accurately recite you the Gettysburg Address: 10%

Number of T-Shirts that Will owns: 40

Percentage of these shirts that have been designated "Not for wearing outside the house." :10%

Well I hope you liked yet another in a line of writing experiments. I've numbered these entries as well, so who knows maybe I'll return to it someday.